Angels Across the Miles
Celebrating and honoring all those individuals who are “Servers” around the world. In my generation we called them “waitresses and waiters”. But the new thing I am told is “Servers”. These are all those lovely souls who wait on us hand and foot when we do not want to be cooking in our own kitchen. We gather the family or just treat ourselves while we drive to a local area restaurant to choose that which will satisfy and fill our tummy’s.
Yes, the individuals who are paying their way through college, the individuals who are working a second job to support their family, the single moms and dads who need the hours that working in a restaurant can give to them. The individual who has just started their very first job. Everyone knows someone who has a family member, a friend or neighbor who has one of the hardest jobs there is-A Server- waiting on the customer to give them everything they want when they ask for it- no ifs ands or buts…….
In a servers world there is no way that the customer is wrong, rude or having a hard day as the customer is always right. They are there to fill their tummy’s and the server needs to make sure their whole experience is one that they enjoy and will came back for more. The weight of the restaurant corporate world is on their shoulders as the server is the first and last person they shall see during that experience so the server has to be the best.
It does not matter if the server has had or is having a bad day, if their child is home sick and they cannot be there with them, if they had just been screamed at by another customer, if they have a final exam and only two hours sleep, if the boss does not like them. None of the matters to the restaurant manager or owner or the customer …..to them the server is there for just that ….to serve them and it better be good.
I have listened to these conversations and I have witnessed customers just being downright mean to a server. I have seen customers leaving only a dime or penny as a tip because the server was not in their opinion any good. I have witnessed a server trying their best to do what the customer has asked and the customer still berating them for the littlest things. Like the time I was out with my family to enjoy a nice meal, I had just returned from a long absence of being on the road and my children wanted to treat me and welcome me back. As we sat there our server acted nervous and funny, I could see that she was stressed, we all could. The problem is then that energy can make its way to my family and now was not the time for that. We came to enjoy our meal together. Sitting trying to decide what to order we noticed the table next to us was complaining about everything. The server was running herself around so much for that table of customers that she looked and felt mentally drained. She only gave us a little time and attention. No biggie, we could all see why.
As the dinner had arrived we were all enjoying our time together we could hear the table next to us ask for the manager. And when the manager arrived the customers continued on for over five minutes about how horrible the server was. We sat there with our mouths open. Watching when the manager left the table, walking straight to the server the manager proceeded to ream the server out. You could see the anguish in the servers face, hurt and humiliation. After a while the server went back to the table to inform the customers that the manager was picking up the check and to please have a wonderful day… all of this with a smile. Moments later the young server was in the bathroom drying the tears from the public humiliation that was placed upon her shoulders. Meanwhile back at the table the customers were laughing with the fact that they just received a free meal.
What a lesson for my family to witness, I know I have gone out before and have received not the greatest of servers or the greatest of foods. But to me there is no reason to be rude about the whole thing. It is okay to inform the server or manager when there is a problem, but the way in which this was delivered was not the best recipe for a good time. But what a lesson it was to learn.
How we as the human race have come so far and yet learned so little for the regards of another human. Have we come so far as to not see the after effects we leave another as we walk away from them? Will this exchange make this individual stronger in the world or will it have them shrinking back as to not go out and explore? My hope is that it will make them stronger; it will give them the gift of knowing how to treat another human and what one should not place upon another. To allow the feelings of another to slide away and know that is not what makes them. We are who we make ourselves to be, whether that is good, bad or indifferent. We are who we are. Or we can be the product of what others make us to be.
By the way, as we were leaving the restaurant that night we stopped the manager on our way out and gave the manager glowing report on what a wonderful dinner we had and it was all due to the server we had. The manger looked very sheepish and told us thank you. I did not see him walk to the server to give her the news, I did not see him in anyway try. But he did not have to… we left an Angelic note on the table to let the server know we did have a great meal and that we valued her as a server, we left her an Angel pin and a twenty percent tip, well….. actually it was more than that as each one of my children reached in their pocket to give more.
Remember the server is there for you to enjoy your time out, to enjoy the meal that is being served to you in the best way.
The server must be a mind reader, psychiatrist, cook, magician, juggler, patient at all times, the list can go on and on. They must work when they are sick, they must smile when they are humiliated, they must be able to hear you when you speak-when one will not speak up, they must know the answer to every question you have, they must be at your table and know what you need at all times…… This to me makes the server one awesome individual who deserves our respect, our attention to them when we first are greeted.
How many times do you say hello to your server when they greet you? How many times do you say please or thank you? How many times do you actually listen to the server and let them finish explaining something to you before you cut them off and how many times have you just not looked at your server as if they did not matter?
Have you ever been to a restaurant and the server will not look at you when you are seated? How did that make you feel? Did you then already judge your server and then you accepted the fact that the server just ruined your whole experience? I have seen this so many times when I have had the chance to go out to eat. …
I enjoy my experiences eating out … I love to cook and I am always thinking of new things to cook but…anything that gets me out of the kitchen after a hard day working is worth savoring in every way.... So when my server comes to the table with their head down, I have asked them how they are doing and I have asked on many occasions how has their day been. At that moment they look up and give me a smile just for asking about them and you can feel them relax as if the air they had been holding can be released and let go. As long as I give some respect and thoughtfulness to my server, I have the best of service. I get to enjoy my experience and they have a customer that understands that they too are an individual’s that has feelings and is working to support themselves.
I always tip my servers twenty percent…. Yes, I do. I guess I am just tired for everyone making excuses to say the economy is bad so I cannot leave you your tip. Well I do not like to bring this up but these servers are dealing with the same thing as everyone else. How can we expect to go out to dine and give no regard to the server? I have recently heard a well known TV personality say to save money during this economy, tip your server only ten percent…. My mouth dropped open. I asked my daughter (who was watching this show) to look up what year the show had been recorded as that is something we tipped out years and years ago. I was shocked to hear this and I was sad at the same time. To de-value those servers as if they are not worth anything.
To me servers do know what the economy is like as they are the ones who still are working hard serving everyone to make their experience one that is great, but are being the ones left out when it comes to people tipping them for that service. Please understand I know there are those out there that do tip and tip well, there are those out there that just want a good meal and good time. That there are times when the service or meal is not great. And that we are all working hard for our income, it is just that I have seen what the servers life is like on many levels and I do not believe that too many individuals could actually do that job. It takes a rare individuals to be a server and survive.
These kids are trying to pay their own way through college, the individuals are working to pay their bills just to live and support their families, they all work hard and now they are having a harder time making ends meet as no one is tipping by the rules. Servers are to be tipped fifteen percent. I watch people get out the calculators to figure the tip, I sit and wonder why I see nine cents when it could just be ten cents. Just something a little extra to round it out.
Do you know that all servers are taxed fifteen percent whether they make that or not? No… well yes they do, and the server must tip out the bar tender, the bus person and so on. So by the time they do get to hold their own money for the night it very well is only ten percent they go home with, but Uncle Sam and the restaurant has charged them fifteen percent.
So the server can and does work a long or short shift not get tipped by customers, not get fifteen percent tip from their customers, be left nothing and they still will be taxed the fifteen percent. Most servers do not even get a paycheck like many may do. They receive a blank check with all of the other things taken out like social security, state taxes, insurance, etc…
I am a firm believer in the generosity you give to others will come back tenfold to you!
Do you know how many times a customer has walked out on a bill and the server had to take money out of their own pockets and pay that bill or be fired? I see large parties eating and having fun, they run their server like crazy and then I see the servers face when they are left with what amounts to only five percent for all their hard work. What would happen if there were no more servers around the world??? Where would one go to be served so they could be enjoying themselves if just for a little while? I hear the servers talk and all of them are so close to getting new jobs and creating their own, because they are now working for nothing. They have no money when they come home, so why even go to work to begin with???.
I do understand that there are many who just do not have enough in their pockets, I understand when the economy is tight, I also understand that if we sit at a restaurant we need to be mindful and respectful of the time our server gives to us to just be able to relax and not be in that kitchen that day or night. To be able to put our feet up to enjoy.
So when you are out enjoying yourself , please take a moment of your time and thank your server, thank them by leaving a tip that is worthy of your kindness, time and heart. Be that someone nice to make them feel special and watch how your day or night out can be a great one.
Next time you go out to eat remember your server is an individual just like you, they hurt, they laugh, they cry and they love. Be an Angel Tipper and make someone else smile as you are enjoying yourself the next time you go out to dine.
God Bless to all Angel “Servers” Across the Miles
Love, Laughter & Light, Adele
